Happy American Freedom Independence Awesome Day

Love, 

Brooklyn Skeptic.

Weekend at the Movies: Special Patriotic Edition!

As we celebrate a day off on Friday by binge drinking and eating (God bless America and no place else), that leaves plenty of time on Saturday and Sunday to see some of these movies or to catch up on some you might’ve missed last weekend (see Wall-E).

Hancock

The Plot: Will Smith is a drunk superhero.

Is it worth eleven dollars?: It doesn’t sound like it. I know that Will Smith seems to have a lock down on the July 4th weekend ever since Independence Day, but this is getting pretty bad reviews thus far. Peter Berg seems to jump around a lot between genres (The Rundown, Very Bad Things, Friday Night Lights) but it’s clear that he works well with darker material. Unfortunately, any real dark humor that might’ve been in this film was flushed down the toilet when they gave it a PG-13 rating. It is however nice to see Jason Bateman being involved in something other than spreading rumors about the Arrested Development movie.

Just shut up and make it already (I’m not talking about you, George Michael and Maeby).

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Pavilion, United Artists on Court Street, Cobble Hill Cinemas. 

The Wackness

The Plot: A kid smokes pot and tries to have sex in 1994. Not sure I can relate, I probably wasn’t doing that until 1998.

 

Is it worth eleven dollars?: I would say yes. It was a pretty big hit at Sundance (although, so was every movie ever made) but it’s getting some okay reviews so far, and at the very least, it’ll be a nice trip down memory lane for people in their twenties.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Sigh. The Angelika.

Gonzo: The Life and Work of Hunter S. Thompson

The Plot: Johnny Depp narrates this documentary about Hunter S. Thompson.

 

Is it worth eleven dollars?: I met a girl outside a bar a few weeks ago who told me that she had cried when Hunter S. Thompson died. And then she took a “fridge-full of acid.” If you go to see this movie, and you should, try to avoid her. Definitely not a friendly.

Fear and LOLing in Las Vegas.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?:  Angelika.

Kabluey

The Plot: A guy moves in with his brother’s wife and starts working as a mascot.

 

Is it worth eleven dollars?: The trailer is actually pretty funny. You know when you see people dressed up in big, fluffy mascot costumes and you have to resist the temptation to run and tackle them? Here you get to see it happen.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Cinema Village.

A Quick Note From Your Sickly Coworker

Dear Coworkers,

I’m sick. I have a cold and a sore throat. I took a day off earlier this week, but have come back to work despite not being at 100%. I do this because, as a temporary worker, I get paid by the hour and do not have the opportunity to take sick days. If I could take this week off and still get paid, I would.

Being sick, I also feel quite vulnerable and weak. I’m shaky and haven’t been sleeping very well. Do you know what I need? Comfort. Friendliness. Do you know what I don’t need? To be treated like a leper whose ear just fell into your lap. To be scoffed at like an invalid with the bubonic plague. Seriously, I’m not going to sneeze in your food or rub my boogers in your face. And trust me, I don’t want to breathe near you any more than I have to.

Seriously, why does everyone have to run and cover their mouths the second they find out a coworker is sick? Unless we’re sharing drinks or making out (two things I reserve solely for my friends), I don’t see how us being in the same room is going to get you sick. I don’t defecate or expectorate on people for fun (again, reserved only for friends), so how am I going to pass this on to you? I feel like you’re all one step away from wearing Hazmat suits when you’re around me. I’m not the little monkey from Outbreak. I’m your friendly, unassuming coworker who you’ve grown to talk about the weather with on awkward elevator rides. I’m a temp. I may not deserve your health insurance, but I deserve your (temporary) respect.

Sincerely,

Plainclothesman

Applebee, hold all my calls. I’ve got to go talk to the temp.

I Would Open My Mouth To Grimace, But I’m Afraid I Might Vomit

Prepare to never be hungry again. 

At England’s University of Nottingham, a bewilderingly intrepid researcher took it upon himself to infect himself with a hookworm, to test out this freaky parasitic beastie’s capacity to suppress immunologic response.  Now I’m all for taking a bullet for a good cause (this is only in theory, as I work in an office), but I would literally rather take a bullet, than have this incarnation of my nightmares anywhere near my tender squishy innards. 

If I were to represent my revulsion graphically, the following -a description of research methods in Papua New Guinea-  would look like Black Tuesday.

“We didn’t speak the language, and we were sparsely equipped,” he recalled. “But we established a rapport with the people. We gave them worm tablets and would ask them politely, in pidgin English, to collect their fecal matter in buckets for us.”

Needless to say, I did not finish the article.

 

                                            I am an abomination

 

American Teen

If you haven’t already seen it, here’s the trailer for “American Teen.”  Shit looks high-larious/amazing.

You know that line from “Juno” where Juno explains the attraction between a jock and an outcast?  Turns out, totally true.

Weekend at the Movies

Wall-E

The Plot: The story of a robot that looks like Johnny Five and talks like a mogwai.

Is it worth eleven dollars?: Yes. Very much so. Although I think it will be hard for anything to compare to the wonder that was Ratatouille, this sounds like it’s going to be great. It’s already got a 97% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, which is the highest of anything so far this year. If you want to see a movie this weekend, make this a priority.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Cobble Hill Cinemas, United Artists on Court Street, Park Slope Pavilion.

The release of Wall-E is getting me wet. Oh no!

Wanted

The Plot: I don’t really know. But there’s guns and explosions and an emaciated Angelina Jolie.

Is it worth eleven dollars?: Hm…to be honest, it looks pretty fun. The negative reviews thus far (ahem, Austin Chronicle), while trying to criticize, seem to be highlighting the more appealing points of summer movies. That it’s ridiculous, unbelievable, filled with special effects, and is aimed at thirteen year old boys (read: twenty-five year old men who still act like thirteen year old boys). Maybe it’s my fondness for Angelina Jolie, or people with spaghetti string arms, bit I’m going to say that this looks like a fun evening at the cinema.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Cobble Hill Cinemas, United Artists on Court Street, Park Slope Pavilion.

 

Angelina Jolie.

Trumbo

The Plot: A documentary about blacklisted screenwriter Dalton Trumbo.

Is it worth eleven dollars?: Yes. Dalton Trumbo gave us the scripts for films like Spartacus and Roman Holiday, but was a member of the anti-fascist Popular Front in the 1930’s. The documentary is directed by Peter Askin (Company Man) and features interviews with Joan Allen, Paul Giamatti, Kirk and Michael Douglas and Donald Sutherland.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Landmark Sunshine.

 

Gunnin’ For That #1 Spot

The Plot: A basketball documentary by Beastie Boy Adam Yaunch.

Is it worth eleven dollars?: Probably not. Reviews thus far are pretty mixed, and the Beastie’s previous documentary - Awesome I Fuckin’ Shot That - was more of a rental.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: AMC Loew’s Village VII.

 

Finding Amanda

The Plot: Mattew Broderick plays a compulsive gambler who is sent to Vegas to convince his stripper neice to go to rehab.

Is it worth eleven dollars?: Probably worth renting. Writer/director Peter Tolan has written a lot of crap (Bedazzled, America’s Sweethearts, Just Like Heaven, Stealing Harvard, Guess Who - wow that’s a long list) but he also is a writer and co-creator for the awesome show Rescue Me. This looks a lot darker than the other crap he’s made, and Matthew Broderick is great in darker material.

Where is it playing in Brooklyn/New York?: Landmark Sunshine.

Otherwise, Clue is the midnight movie tonight at the Landmark Sunshine and the IFC Center is playing Mad Max.

GMO Corn To Makes Men Sterile

Thank you CASFS Blog:

A small California biotech company, Epicyte, in 2001 announced the development of genetically engineered corn which contained a spermicide which made the semen of men who ate it sterile. At the time Epicyte had a joint venture agreement to spread its technology with DuPont and Syngenta, two of the sponsors of the Svalbard Doomsday Seed Vault. Epicyte was since acquired by a North Carolina biotech company. Astonishing to learn was that Epicyte had developed its spermicidal GMO corn with research funds from the US Department of Agriculture, the same USDA which, despite worldwide opposition, continued to finance the development of Terminator technology, now held by Monsanto. More here.
Now do you want labels on your GMO foods? Click here to get active.

Celebrate Brooklyn: Cold War Kids

This Friday, Celebrate Brooklyn will warmly welcome hipster band Cold War Kids. The show will take place in the Prospect Park Bandshell, is free, and will begin at 7:00 PM.

The only reason I know about Cold War Kids is because I once had a subscription to Rolling Stone Magazine and I believe they once called them the best band or the hottest band, or some other kind of superlative relating to their inevitable rise to fame and awesomeness in the coming year. That was a few years ago.

Nevertheless, the reason I am going to go see them is because their name reminds me of a Billy Joel lyric from the song Leningrad:

And cold war kids were hard to kill
Under their desk in an air raid drill
Haven’t they heard we won the war
What do they keep on fighting for?

It’s really quite a lovely song. And thus I believe Cold War Kids will be a lovely band, who obviously need our support given the likelihood of their having recurring thermonuclear war nightmares.

Some other important information: According to the band’s Wikipedia page, “Cold War Kids are keen backers of organic farming.”

Spring: It’s What Was in Season Foo’

Two days ago, it was the first day of summer. This is usually about the time we all start wetting our pants about prospective tomato and summer squash ratatouilles. However, before we do that, let’s take a minute and  pay homage to some of the wonderful spring bounty from the last couple months. It deserves it.

Asparagus. Always makes its appearance at the start of spring. It’s totally the star of first course plates and scrambled eggs with leftovers for a couple months and then you don’t hear about it again till next spring. Whatevs, thats cool with me, yo. This spring’s fave asparagus preparation (besides grilling them encased in prosciutto, which always rules) was to blanch them in boiling salted water in small batches for 2 minutes, shocking them in an ice bath (to preserve the bright color and stop the cooking) and then warming them back up in butter. ‘Course in the picture we did something different. We used them to prepare a parsley sauce (for scallops) and a leek soup. The parsley sauce is the green puree in the bowl on the left. To make it you simply take the blanched asparagus (after chilling), and blend them with cleaned parsley, adding a touch of cream and seasoning.

Rhubarb. Was also the shizzle. Those tangy celery-on-acid stalks are unusually intimidating (you just never know wtf to do with rhubarb) but this season they were used to make a really funky sauce with French brut apple cider (6% alcohol) from Normandy. We simply stewed some chopped rhubarb in about half the bottle (drank the rest) and added a spoonful o’ sugar. Then we just blended the living hell out of it and it became that smooth beige sauce you see in the bowl on the right. Really good match with that parsley-asparagus sauce.

Radishes. We ate them with unsalted butter and some sea salt. Yeah, its really good with some white wine. Alternatively, thinly sliced radish is a nice accompaniment some raw sashimi (think thin slices of yellowtail nicely arranged on a plate) if you drizzle some fresh lime and lemon juice around it and season it properly. That crunch is hard to beat.

Scallops. Spring is a great time for diver scallops caught off the Long Island coast (Brooklyn is on Long Island, remember?) These should be so fresh that you can eat them raw. You’ll know when you smell their sweet, sea smell and they have just the perfect moisture content that they kind of bounce back at you when you squeeze them. A trip to the Union Square Farmers’ Market (where the fish stand is really top-quality) yielded some of those scallops, as well as a monkfish fillet, some red onions and a bunch o’ cilantro. Large shrimp and calamari were purchased at Whole Foods (Where Hot People Shop) as well as some limes. This turned in just about an hour into an exquisite citrusy concoction of seafood that just hit the spot.

Skep-Pics: The Long Awaited Edition

I failed you my millions and millions of fevered Skep-Pics fans.

First off, I was in Florida for a while. And I had all these fun in the sun pics, which I spared you because I didn’t want to rub it in our collective reader’s beautiful faces. Then there was this extravagant loss of a precious collection of Brooklyn pics, like the one I posted last time, which were lost.

Enough of excuses. Let’s just have a new Skep-Pic from my personal archives.

Prospect Heights

Also I will take this time to self promote. I have a new portfolio-style book of my work available. Take a look at a short preview, buy a copy, and be able to tell people that you know me back when I was still a pauper.